Forbbiden Love
by steamboatwillie1928
Summary: This is a retarded one shot about what it would be like if our friends were Bella and Edward. Humor us please and R/R


1Disclaimer: We know, we know we don't own Twilight blah, blah, blah!!!!!!!!

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A forbidden love that could never be...

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There once was a girl named Kasey, but for this story let's just call her Bella. There was also a boy named Brian, but let's just call him Edward.

Bella was dating a boy from another school, she went to Forks High School, while he attended the Prep School in Seattle. His name was Jake. Edward, too was dating a girl from another school. Her name was Tanya. Tanya soon died in an unfortunate accident, but that's not important now, and we'll get back to that later.

During their junior year in high school, Edward and Bella became close friends. Many of Bella's friends were teasing her about the new friends blossoming relationship. Bella just shrugged them off, not realizing how close to the truth they actually were.

Edward soon realized that he was starting to feel for Bella as more then just a friend. But his one and a half year anniversary with Tanya was coming up and he still felt for her. He had a dilemma, he liked two girls at once, and since polygamy wasn't a option, de didn't know what to do.

He decided to confide in Bella's friends: Morgan, Heather, Jen, and Sarah. Jen, the rational one of the group, suggested talking with Tanya, she felt that was only fair. Heather and Morgan wanted Edward to profess his feelings to Bella and the do something violent, they had a few issues, to say the least. Sarah was incredibly jealous. All she could think about was how much she too loved Bella, and since lesbian marriage, like polygamy, wasn't an option, she too faced a dilemma.

A few months down the road, Bella, too was noticing feelings surpassing friendship in her relationship with Edward. Bella too confided in her friends. Jen, again, suggested talking to Jake. Sarah remained quiet throughout the exchange, contemplating her deepening feelings for Bella. Morgan pulled out a green toy light saber and banged on the lunch table.

"Oh yeah, baby!! You go for Mr. Yummy!!"

Heather pulled out two stuffed bunnies.

"Morgan and I will take care of Tanya and Jake!" she said as she ripped the head off of one of the bunnies. Morgan cut off the ears of the other, pretending to strangle it with them.

"No!!!!" Bella exclaimed while pulling out a red light saber, "She's mine!!!"

Morgan and Bella proceeded to spar above the lunch table.

Edward soon came up with a solution to his dilemma. He would take Tanya out on a double date with Bella and Jake. He would compare the girls and decide which he liked better. (Yes, yes! We know, what a chauvinistic pig!) This is where our story begins to get good!

Edward approached Bella with his idea. Bella agreed and suggested going to see Twilight.

The night for the date soon came and the two couples met at the movie theater in Port Angles.

About half way through the movie, you know, the meadow scene, Bella leaned over to Tanya. "Will you come with me to the bathroom? I'm nervous going by myself, you know with the ponytail strangler on the loose and all."

"Yea, sure I'll come."

"So who's this ponytail strangler?" Tanya asked when they got into the bathroom.

Bella turned to her with an evil gleam in her eyes, "Me!"

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A few minutes later, a fat, very ugly woman walked in as Bella walked out. As she walked by the sinks she noticed some red in one of them, but thought nothing of them. When she looked into the mirror above that sink, she saw written on wall in freshly spilt blood, "For SPARTA!!!" With a horrified expression, she followed the trail of blood to one of the stalls, the huge handicapped one to be exact. You know, the one you always use, but feel guilty about, because what if a handicapped person walked, or rolled, in?

But back to our story, the fat, ugly woman opened the stall door and saw the decapitated head of a bald girl with a ponytail wrapped around her neck. The fat, ugly woman realized that it was the hair of the bald girl and had been used to strangle her. The fat, ugly woman called the police, but that's irrelevant.

Bella then returned to the theater alone. Edward asked her where Tanya was.

"Oh, she's a little busy right now, she'll be back soon."

A few minutes later, Jake went to get some more popcorn. Bella and Edward turned to each other and said "I have a secret." They both laughed, "you first," said Bella.

"I read romantic twilight fan fiction at night when I think there's no one watching. Now it's your turn."

Bella then said, "well, I like you Edward."

He said, "I like you too, but Tanya..."

"Well, I have another secret, Tanya has been taken care of... There's no need to go into details"

"Whew, well that's a relief. I was going to do something like that eventually. But, what are we going to do about Jake...?" As he said this, Edward formulated a plan in his head, he saw Jake with a cement block dried onto to his feet. He also had his hands tied and was gaged. In his mind, Edward was pushing the bound Jake off of the cliffs in La Push. When he shared this idea with Bella, she said, "that's perfect! You know that jerk for got my birthday and tried to pass it off as he was busy. What a moron the only reason he even remembered was face book."

After all of this occurred Edward and Bella started dating and soon got married and moved to Alaska.

Jen, in all of her perfectness, became the first female president of the US. She was also a musical prodigy and soon married the tuba player, Erick, who is now the First Man of the White House.

Sarah watched Bella from afar, hoping she would leave Edward. She was soon arrested on stalker charges.

Now, as for Heather and Morgan, they lived out the remainder of their lives in an asylum fighting epic battles with toy light sabers in a nice soft rubber room.

El Fin!!!!!!!!

Authors Note to friends: Please don't kills us guys, you know we love you and we're just joking.

Regular Authors note: this was a combined effort between me steamboatwillie1928 and my friend THEprocrastinator27. None of this is really true it's just stuff we tease our friends about put into oneshot form.


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